Monday, Feb. 23rd

Monday: Feb. 23rd Today we left this beautiful place! I am on one of my many plane rides home and feeling very empty. I not only am leaving behind a people I fell in love with but my children that I fell in love with. No words can describe the emptiness I feel and the hurt that aches in my bones! I felt God carrying me through this week when I knew the inevitable was going to happen but now I am numb to it. I think I'm in that 'shock' stage. I just can't believe it didn't happen. We woke up early today to go to see the babies one last time before our flight left. We were supposed to leave at 7:30...Liberia time: they got there around 8:15. John and Larry were going to work at the church one last time so they dropped us off at the AFAA house. We were beginning to feel right at home in the AFAA house. We immediately walked back to get the babies and there was no crying today!!!! Onah was very curious about Matt and all his facial hair. You can tell they are really getting used to us! Marie was her usual snuggly self ;) We were feeding them a bottle when one of the house mom's came up to us and told us Oretha had gotten us a meeting iwth the minister of social welfare. (The case worker basically) and as soon as we were ready to leave we could. I of course was nervous because we had to take a taxi,...which took forever to get one, esp. on a Monday. I was worried we'd miss our flight and all that cause I know how Liberia time works! We got a taxi, headed out and met with the case worker who hasn't even looked at our children's paperwork by the way! She was no help. She showed no sign of compassion for any parent waiting on their children. One look at her and I basically tuned her out and let Matt do all the talking. I saw there was no use. She was kinda rude and acted like she didn't really want or have time to talk to us. I had to hold my tongue at one point because Matt was talking to her about the children we had seen over the past week, starving children who need help and can't get help because there's no where for them to go with children not being able to leave the country. I'll never forget this: She looked at him with a stone face, no emotions what so ever, and said, "I have a case of a boy who is dying on my desk, he has an adopted family ready to take him home, and he's ready to go home, but he's not going anywhere! Not until this ban is lifted. He'll probably die before he leaves." How can you say that with NO EMOTIONS! Their children are dying and they seem as if they don't care! I was able to not only hold my tongue, but the tears as well, but as soon as we walked out those doors I couldn't hold them back anymore! I made Oretha very uncomfortable because Liberians do not like crying I noticed. Whenever kids or adults cry they immediately tell them, "hush up! Quit crying!" I could tell me crying made her very uncomfortable but I couldn't help it! I couldn't stop! We made it back early enough to spend a few more minutes with the babies before our driver came to pick us up. Leaving was the hardest thing to do. I think it was the longest goodbye I've ever made. I couldn't put them down, and there was no stopping the tears. I miss them so much already and it hasn't even been a day. This is going to be SO HARD!!! We got back to the house and I just wanted to be alone but we had to pack up and head to the airport. No time to think things through. On the way to the airport our van overheated. David, our driver, took the cap off the radiator...bad mistake...it looked like 'ol faithful spewing out of our hood! Some boys from the village nearby saw a van of white people and came over. They took a can and ran to the nearest well to get us water, which you know by know, Liberia+village+well=long distance! So we gave them lots of treats and candy for helping us out :) They were so funny it was like gold. I think they'd do anything for more ;) So we made it to the airport and on the plane. We're headed home and this will probably be my last journal entry. I miss Liberia!