Twins...

Matt needed to work on Chance's fence last week. It was a nice warm spring day so Colten was excited about going outside and helping his daddy. They went to the store together to pick up supplies...I should have gone, they came back with too many un-necessary things. By the way, Colten is a "big boy" now, in case you needed to know. He can walk out to the car by himself with no help. Matt was given specific directions to pull in the drive after work, honk his horn, and Colten would come out on his own and hop in the car while dad waited in the car. He was not to get out and come in and get him. He could do it on his own. This poses a problem though when you can't buckle your own seat belt :) When they arrived home Matt changed into some work clothes and headed out. Colten immediately says, "Dad, I'll meet you out there. I need to change too." When he comes down the stairs I laugh out loud!!! He has on boots...just like dad, jeans with holes...just like dad, and a sleeveless shirt...just like dad. I love it when he tries to be just like daddy. It's so STINKIN' CUTE! Here are the twins after work relaxing together...

Colten's Photography

Hanging out as a family one night, we were taking pictures of daddy and Colten. Colten wanted a turn. Here's how it turned out... Let's hope he find a different occupation ;) However, it's pretty good for his first picture??? At least you can see parts of us :)

Colten is 4!!!

Where does the time go?? My little baby is 4 years old! He's no longer a baby :( We had a great time celebrating this year a little smaller than last year. We still had good times with friends and family, but I contained myself a bit this time with all the party stuff. Here are some pictures of our chucky cheese adventure with friends... concentrating even though the game is broken how cute is he?? He was so excited to spend the day at chucky cheese with his friends! let the party begin!!! All the boys!!! Scary image for the future!!!! HELP!!! On Saturday we had a small celebration with family and friends. Colten wanted everything to be super heros this year! He's into spider man and batman. He leared a few new ones on his birthday. He's into dressing up...he gets that from his daddy! He got some new super hero costumes and dresses up to beat up his daddy when they wrestle. It was a great time. Would have been better if I had remembered to buy ice cream!!! What was I thinking??? Colten with is spider man birthday cake. No I wasn't brave enough this year to make my own cake like last year. I went the easy route...Wal-Mart. Maybe next year!! Papaw's hanging out at the party, they were good for opening up those hard to open gifts...they always have a pocket knife available! of course...more race cars with tracks! Now we won't have to race on the kitchen floor, we actually have a track!!! SUPER COLTEN!!! future drummer boy. Let's hope he is better than his mommy... or Tom... Who's this cute little brother!!! He loves to play too! Thanks everyone for helping me celebrate 4 years with Colten!!! It was fun!

Fotos of Liberia

These are some pictures from our trip to Liberia. Listen to the words of this song as you watch the faces of hurting people who need your prayers. It brings tears to my eyes knowing what I left behind. I want to go back to do more!

Sweet Music

Monrovia United Christian Church welcoming us... (Pause music at bottom to hear...)

YOU'RE WELCOME!

Following you will find a series of journal entries from Liberia. These are my feelings and what I experienced in Liberia. Many of you have been waiting to hear about my trip...here it is...first hand of what I experienced. I hope you enjoy, and find a love for the same people that I fell in love with...

February 16th, Monday

We finally made it to Liberia!!! And it finally caught up with me...today/yesterday...I can't keep track. I don't know what the time is, what the day is! This is crazy. I remember wanting to just cry on the plane cause I was so tired yet couldn't sleep, hadn't showered for 2 days and was sick of airplane food! We arrived in Monrovia today. There's just something about this place that puts a smile on my face! Everyone tells you, "you're welcome!" WE had no problems going through customs! Walked right through (ALL OF US! Got back to the ELWA and TOOK A SHOWER!!! It was cold but felt so good! We loaded back up in the cars and went to church to meet everyone. It was dark and I remember driving for ever adn all of a sudden hearing loud music and people singing. It was a mob of people! They were running next to our vans, beating drums, saying "Yahwey!" and "Welcome". They were singing and dancing and grabbing our hands as we drove by, I felt like a super star or something, but they were al praising God for sending us to them! (HOW HUMBLING!) I remember shaking people's hands and hugging them and all of a sudden feeling little tiny hands in mine. I looked down and was instantly captivated by their smile sand I couldn't help but think of our little ones when looking at them. How I long to meet them and see them! I love the children in Liberia, there's something about them that is intoxicating. They are so lovable and you just want to squeeze them all! ELWA is where we are staying. We have a guard who watches over our house 24/7 and it is a gated cummunity right on the ocean. It is nice, but if it was back in the States there's no way you would stay there...there are better options back home. But for Liberia it's a Hilton! Our shower is a trickle of cold water and we have AC, lots of bugs but not many mosquitos! They come out in the rainy seasson and lucky for us it's not the rainy season :) Matt got attacked by a sea urchin...Leave it to him, the first 1/2 hour here and he's already injured...THAT'S THE COWBOY WAY! I think I'm gonna fall in love with this place!!!

Tuesday, February 17th

I slept AWESOME last night! We were able to sleep a little longer today. Liberia reminds me alot of Jamaica. Drivers are never on time, traffic is crazy and people everywhere. Even the smells! (Diesel mostly ;) I started out working at the clinic. We had to set it up first and when we arrived there were probably 100 people already waiting! WE had rooms to actually take patients in and a make shift 'pharmacy room' as well as a couple rooms to take blood pressure and vitals. I walked around with Heather for al ittle while teaching those waiting about importance of clean water and washing hands. Then I took over Jamie's job of checking people in. I got to meet many people and talk with them and hold babies :) Many patients suffered from pain mostly stomach pain. More than likely form dirty drinking water. One 18 month old baby we saw today was 10 pounds! He was severely dehydrated so badly there was nothing we could do, but take him to a hospital. It makes me think of where my babies would be right now had God not found them and brought them into our lives. Would we be treating them today or would they fall under the 50% of children in Liberia that never make it? I missed them SO much today! At the VBS as children were coming in a little baby probably 18 months came in crying and walked straight into my arms. Seh clinged to me the whole time. It made me long for my babies! I hear we get to go and see them tomorrow! I'm SO EXCITED! While driving today we went through a part of town that was wall to wall peole. I couldn't help but gaze into the eyes of a the people we passed by starring into our car and see all the emptiness in their eyes. I've heard of people talk about the emptiness they see in other's eyes but never seen it for myself. Hopeless is what their eyes screamed. If only they knew of the joy God has to share. As we slowly drove by all the empty eyes I slowly see a flowing yellow image as we drive on by; I focus and notice a bright shining smiling face of a toothless little angel in a beautiful bright yellow dress clinging to her mother's hand as she's being gragged along while she's starring deep in my eyes beaming from ear to ear! That's their HOPE! The children of this country have the hope and I pray they can make a difference in their country and families.

Wednesday, February 18th

Isaiah 43:2-4 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you...For I am the Lord your God...You are precious in my sight...and I love you!" I woke up today and was sick tomy stomach. I longed for something cold and CLEAN to drink. The water at the ELWA house is not safe to drink so we are to bring bottled water from the church to the house each night for that evening and in the morning and I forgot. So I'm so thirsty!!! I guess we take water for granted. I can't imagine waking up every morning craving water. We got to the church and turned around to leave and go see the babes!!! I was nervous and we drove around Monrovia what seemed like FOREVER before we went. We had to stop at the hardware store for some metal for the building, at the pharmacy for some drugs, meet the newpaper reporter for a copy of the article we were in, and then off to find the AFAA house. Mommy with Onah for the first time...I miss you chunk!!! Daddy getting stuck around his little girl's finger for the first time :) Mommy still feels you in her arms sweet pea! We walked into the AFAA house which was nicer than where we are staying!!! WE walked in and saw all the children eating and said hellow. We walked back to the babes room and I walked in and grabbed Onah and he cried and cried and cried!! (he was afraid of us, white scarry people!) Matt held Marie. She cried for a little bit and settled down alot quicker than Onah...that is until we switched babes and then she cried a little more :) Onah continued to cry every time he saw a Liberian. They we SO PRECIOUS!!! I remember just kissing and kissing them. I gave them their girraffe and lion. Marie chewing on Colten's picture in her picture book. Marie chewed on hers, Onah was too busy crying to notice. They both loved the picture books we sent them. They chewed on them alot. At one point I held both babies. It was so precious to see Onah reach out and touch Marie. She fell asleep as he held her hand!!! :) Onah holding Marie's hand while she sleeps :) I TREASURE that time with them :) I held back the tears when we left but as soon as we were in the car driving away I cried all the way back to the church. It was hard leaving them. Onah has a herniated belly button which I know isn't really a big deal there, but to me I just want to get him home and healthy. Mercy cried when we left. I know she really wanted to go home. I PRAY God can make a way fro these children to come home. They SO LONG FOR HOME! BAck at the church we had VBS with about 400 kids! It is hard because you don't think they listen or understand. As I led worship they kept coming closer and closer to me and eventually I was pinned against the backdrop :) At the end of VBS Matt passed out bubbles at the gate and there was a RIOT amongst the kids. Denise literally broke up a fight! After dinner we headed back home. On the way we joked with David, our driver, about me driving. At one point we stopped for gas and he was actually going to let me! I told him I was kidding, I'd kill us all in Liberian traffic! I'm glad I didn't because we came to a traffic jam that was so much CHAOS! There were 7 lanes of traffic going the same direction on a 4 lane road. We were over in the 7th lane. The UN stepped in and started directing traffic and after about 45 minutes of sitting still we finally began moving. One lane all the way on the other side of the road started moving. Somehow, I still dont' know how, we ended up crossing 6 lanes of non moving traffic over to that one lane and moved beyond the jam, which we found on the other side was 7 lanes of traffic coming the other way!!! We literally had a 'stand-off' of cars. This is how Liberia works with traffic. When you have no lights or stop signs or any organization what so ever with traffic this happens.

Thursday, February 19th

Psalm 62:6 "He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken" Today was a hard day! At the clinic my heart was brokena nd I was shaken by two little babies. They looked like the babies you see in pictures of national geographic except this time it was more real! One little boy was 1 and 1/2 years old. and he was only 6 POUNDS! That's smaller than Colten at birth!!! His arms were so tiny and he looked so weak. You could see every bone in his little body. I asked the mother if I could hold him while I took his weight and fought back the tears! It was like holding a pile of bones. As I cradled his little bottom you felt nothing but bone! No meat what so ever! It was so heartbreaking. It makes me wonder why they have to suffer? This precious innocent child...why must he go through this? His mother was numb to the fact that her child was dying. I guess she's come to that realization? How hard life is here! And to think the government wants to keep these starving children from leaving the country. They need this help! Lives are too precious to be tossed aside like this! What God must think when he looks down and sees this little boy??? Back at the ELWA house we had no electricity. 2 Gekos got fried on the wire and power went out. 2 Liberians were up on a ladder with electrical cable trying to fix it. No...they were not electricians...just civilians! (Ocea would not be happy!) During our group time I struggled. We were to share what God was doing in our lives this week. I don't know! I know what I WANT Him to do this week, but I don't know what HE wants to do. I couldn't stop crying when I heard Matt say, he wasn going to have to leave without our babies. Matt's never doubted or lost hope and to hear those words made my heart sink. I don't know why I have to hurt like this. It's so hard! I called Colten afterwards and he cheered me up! He was so happy to hear from us. He giggled the whole time. I'm so sleepy. Another day of waking up with matted eyes from crying all night. I'm off to bed!

Friday, February 20th

Today was a slower day for me. I was extremely tired when I woke up and we waited for an hour for Oretha to show up to get the laptop. When she showed up she seemed very non-social. I just feel like she's not excited about our children going home. She didn't set up a meeting with Eva Morgan and said next week she could set it up with her. We then reminded her hat we were leaving on Monday! On our way to the church we stopped at a pharmacy. Danny went inside while we stayed in his vehicle. I was 1/2 asleep and tried to ignore all the sellers who came up to our window trying to sell stuff. Next thing I knew Matt said, "hey" and 20 Liberians were swarming our vehicle yelling! I had NO CLUE what was going on. Apparently...a guy knocked on the back window which made us all turn to look while his friend reached in on the other side of the vehicle to grab Danny's cell phone. All the Liberians were wataching us like hawks so immediately they stepped in and came to our defense. I'm so amazed at their love and support for each other and us! They told us, "you're Americans! they want to steal from you. You're in Liberia now, roll up your windows :)!" We had a great story to share with everyone when we got to the church. 400 kids at VBS today! They sang so loudly and I broke a string! Very tired afterwards however! At one point I the kids were so close to me during worship I couldn't move my guitar or I'd clunk them in the head! It was great seeing their excitement! This morning Tony a boy that comes around the ELWA house in the morning was asking me to buy shoes for him. He said they pulled him out of school cause he didn't have shoes. He can't go back till he gets some and his mom can't afford it. I think at the end of the week we are going to find some shoes we can leave that will fit him. I was so tired tonight I came back and slept and for the first time I thought about our home and what it would be like to be there in my own bed. One interesting thing that happened today in VBS. We were trying to get the girls t braid a bracelet of yarn and they didn't understand what we were saying. I'm thinking...you all know how to braid! Look at your hair!!!! I learned I had to say, "PLOT IT!"...like magic they all started braiding! ;)

Saturday, February 21

We went shopping today in the market!!! Bee and Danny went with us. Bee wanted to make sure she helped us all get good deals in the market cause she knew that they would all take advantage of us. And they did try, but we are good, I should say, Matt is good, at bargaining with them! We bought lots of things to put in the babies room so they can always be 'at home'. We bought Colten a couple drums...I'm sure he's gonna love that! We had Liberians stopping and taking our pictures with their cell phones. Again...it felt like we were famous or something. It was really hot today. Down while we were shopping you couldn't really feel the breeze as well. I could feel the sweat running down the back of my legs...gross! But we've been here for almost a week now and you don't really notice it much anymore, the sweat that is :) We came across a place where they were selling Liberia jerseys and they were a big hit for the people on our team. There were two Liberians there selling them and all of a sudden 30 Liberians came out of the woodwork and were all trying to sell you these shirts. They were crowding around us and all of a sudden I felt someone unzip my money pouch, luckily I didn't have any money in there and I quickly shut it, but I didn't see who did it, but in an instant Bee started grabbing us all and told us we needed to leave because there were 'bad people' around. Turns out I wasn't the only one who had their packs unzipped. Several people had their bags messed with and Big Jason, who's not called big for nothing, had a couple guys trying to stick their hands in his pockets. So we high tailed it out of there as a group. I'm so glad we have them with us. They took good care of us! After shoppig we went to the church to eat and on our way back to the ELWA house we stopeed at the AFAA house and the team spent some time with the kids there and we got to stay and spend a lot of time with the babies! We were able to feed them bottles and put them to bed. Our driver didn't come for us until 9 pm so we spent the entire evening with them! We of course held them the whole time! Never putting them down once :) Onah was constantly playing with Matt's face or watch or whatever else he had on him that was of interest to Onah. Onah wimpered just a little when we got there but not much crying at all! Marie kept falling asleep on me! We got to see Onah giggle and talk a little! The boys were playing soccer and he was facinated with the ball going all over the place. He kept cooing and jabbering at them. So I'd say, "onah kick it!" and he'd reply with "KAH!" It was so precious to hear his voice without crying and screaming :) We had the children write letters to parents back home and sang songs with them. We even played Chi Chi Ni with the boys! They couldn't believe we knew how to play their game! We ended the evening watching a movie with them...yes they have a tv there, run on a generator. The babies fell asleep in our arms and we left for the night when our driver came to pick us up. I left without crying this time!

Sunday, February 22

Today was yet another emotional day. I think I've cried every day since I've been here. There is so much that grabs your heart and you do your best to be strong throughout the day and when night comes you can't hold it in any longer. We said goodbye to our dear friends at the Monrovia United Christian Church today. I'll never forget my brothers and sisters here! Matt and I gave Tofi a bible today with a message and some scriptures to keep tucked away for him. He is such a joyful young man! What a great smile and heart of gold! I'll never forget the first time I saw him running along side our van beating that drum and excited to see us that first night we were there. He has a smile you could never erase from your memory! There were 348 chilren at church today! Normal attendance for children is about 50 Bee said. They were all blown away. They all sat so quietly because they had a switch looming above their heads if they so much as made a peep they knew they'd get it! We ate lunch with the church family: Some gross looking stew stuff, I think it had fish eggs in it or something like that???? I didn't try it. But I did try the peanut butter soup and rice. It wasn't bad but it wasn't great either! I ate alot of fruit :) After lunch we had a women's conference where I got to meet alot of wonderful sisters! I never knew how much the war had an effect on these people until talking and hearing their stories. In my small group alone 1/2 the women had lost their husbands in the war. Many were shot trying to run and flee Liberia. One woman has 13 children and is a single parent now. I can't imagine being a single parent to 13 children here in the US! They are struggling being a single parent in Liberia! I pray God watches over them and gives them strength and support! I pray he shows them He is their provider and their Heavenly Father! We talked with a man named Bob Z. I can't say his last name so I just call him Bob Z. He is a friend of Sam's from when Sam was in Liberia many years ago. He's a superintendant, equivalent to a govenor, in Liberia. We told him of our situation with the adoption. He said he wished he would have met us 3 days ago and he could have set up some meetings or something, but it was too late for that now. He asked us to give him all our contact information with our agency and he would see if he could help us out in any way. I don't know if he will or not, but it's worth trying???

Monday, Feb. 23rd

Monday: Feb. 23rd Today we left this beautiful place! I am on one of my many plane rides home and feeling very empty. I not only am leaving behind a people I fell in love with but my children that I fell in love with. No words can describe the emptiness I feel and the hurt that aches in my bones! I felt God carrying me through this week when I knew the inevitable was going to happen but now I am numb to it. I think I'm in that 'shock' stage. I just can't believe it didn't happen. We woke up early today to go to see the babies one last time before our flight left. We were supposed to leave at 7:30...Liberia time: they got there around 8:15. John and Larry were going to work at the church one last time so they dropped us off at the AFAA house. We were beginning to feel right at home in the AFAA house. We immediately walked back to get the babies and there was no crying today!!!! Onah was very curious about Matt and all his facial hair. You can tell they are really getting used to us! Marie was her usual snuggly self ;) We were feeding them a bottle when one of the house mom's came up to us and told us Oretha had gotten us a meeting iwth the minister of social welfare. (The case worker basically) and as soon as we were ready to leave we could. I of course was nervous because we had to take a taxi,...which took forever to get one, esp. on a Monday. I was worried we'd miss our flight and all that cause I know how Liberia time works! We got a taxi, headed out and met with the case worker who hasn't even looked at our children's paperwork by the way! She was no help. She showed no sign of compassion for any parent waiting on their children. One look at her and I basically tuned her out and let Matt do all the talking. I saw there was no use. She was kinda rude and acted like she didn't really want or have time to talk to us. I had to hold my tongue at one point because Matt was talking to her about the children we had seen over the past week, starving children who need help and can't get help because there's no where for them to go with children not being able to leave the country. I'll never forget this: She looked at him with a stone face, no emotions what so ever, and said, "I have a case of a boy who is dying on my desk, he has an adopted family ready to take him home, and he's ready to go home, but he's not going anywhere! Not until this ban is lifted. He'll probably die before he leaves." How can you say that with NO EMOTIONS! Their children are dying and they seem as if they don't care! I was able to not only hold my tongue, but the tears as well, but as soon as we walked out those doors I couldn't hold them back anymore! I made Oretha very uncomfortable because Liberians do not like crying I noticed. Whenever kids or adults cry they immediately tell them, "hush up! Quit crying!" I could tell me crying made her very uncomfortable but I couldn't help it! I couldn't stop! We made it back early enough to spend a few more minutes with the babies before our driver came to pick us up. Leaving was the hardest thing to do. I think it was the longest goodbye I've ever made. I couldn't put them down, and there was no stopping the tears. I miss them so much already and it hasn't even been a day. This is going to be SO HARD!!! We got back to the house and I just wanted to be alone but we had to pack up and head to the airport. No time to think things through. On the way to the airport our van overheated. David, our driver, took the cap off the radiator...bad mistake...it looked like 'ol faithful spewing out of our hood! Some boys from the village nearby saw a van of white people and came over. They took a can and ran to the nearest well to get us water, which you know by know, Liberia+village+well=long distance! So we gave them lots of treats and candy for helping us out :) They were so funny it was like gold. I think they'd do anything for more ;) So we made it to the airport and on the plane. We're headed home and this will probably be my last journal entry. I miss Liberia!