Thursday, February 19th

Psalm 62:6 "He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken" Today was a hard day! At the clinic my heart was brokena nd I was shaken by two little babies. They looked like the babies you see in pictures of national geographic except this time it was more real! One little boy was 1 and 1/2 years old. and he was only 6 POUNDS! That's smaller than Colten at birth!!! His arms were so tiny and he looked so weak. You could see every bone in his little body. I asked the mother if I could hold him while I took his weight and fought back the tears! It was like holding a pile of bones. As I cradled his little bottom you felt nothing but bone! No meat what so ever! It was so heartbreaking. It makes me wonder why they have to suffer? This precious innocent child...why must he go through this? His mother was numb to the fact that her child was dying. I guess she's come to that realization? How hard life is here! And to think the government wants to keep these starving children from leaving the country. They need this help! Lives are too precious to be tossed aside like this! What God must think when he looks down and sees this little boy??? Back at the ELWA house we had no electricity. 2 Gekos got fried on the wire and power went out. 2 Liberians were up on a ladder with electrical cable trying to fix it. No...they were not electricians...just civilians! (Ocea would not be happy!) During our group time I struggled. We were to share what God was doing in our lives this week. I don't know! I know what I WANT Him to do this week, but I don't know what HE wants to do. I couldn't stop crying when I heard Matt say, he wasn going to have to leave without our babies. Matt's never doubted or lost hope and to hear those words made my heart sink. I don't know why I have to hurt like this. It's so hard! I called Colten afterwards and he cheered me up! He was so happy to hear from us. He giggled the whole time. I'm so sleepy. Another day of waking up with matted eyes from crying all night. I'm off to bed!